He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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