The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
