dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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