Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
