he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
