I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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