New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Pants are for mortals
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
