Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
