Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ambien. No doubt about it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
