now i know why i became what i already was.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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