it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
