He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
