then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
