What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
