I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is my gift to your gina
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
