Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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