What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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