we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
