Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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