I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
