Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Randomize
