When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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