oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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