question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
