She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
