So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Randomize
