I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
