Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
