Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
