You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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