No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
