is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
