Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What a dumb baby whore.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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