I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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