dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
