Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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