it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We were destined to go to rehab together
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
