Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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