It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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