I'm so fucking centered right now
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
