i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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