the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize