I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
