I want to walk on stilts...naked
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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