I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
