I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
pray to the hookup gods
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
