I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
