Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
