last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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