p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize