I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
