My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
